homeward.
once in may
once in november
once in may
once in november
once in may
once in november
this is the third november that i’ll be going back to new jersey to see my family for thanksgiving. we don’t do christmas. we don’t do hannukkah. we do “okay your dad got his christmas bonus do you want something or what?” i prefer this to trees, tinsel, garlands, menorahs, candles, etc. i do thanksgiving, and i break vegetarian every year on thanksgiving. i do this to avoid a conversation about the holocaust. my grandparents were in poland at the wrongest fucking time you can be in poland, and for that, i eat turkey once a year so that i don’t have to get into a “ball of string” conversation with my grandmother or my mother.
a “ball of string” conversation is when i spend hours being guilted about what i do and don’t do because in the concentration camp all they had was a ball of string.
this may seem callous, insensitive, harsh, and even mean, but let me finish, please.
i love my grandmother. i have crossed the state of florida in various rental cars various times to see her if i’m even close to the southernmost state in our union. the last time i was there, she told me the entire story of the war, start to finish, and we both cried our eyes out and shared an incredibly special few hours. she gave me my grandfather’s watch which i wear every single day even though it is too big and doesn’t go with anything at all i wear. nothing is more important to me than the sacrifice my grandparents made to bring me here. nothing.
however, there’s a difference between understanding that and having to relive it every time i see my family. hitler was a huge dick, the nazis were all fucktards, and the holocaust may be the single worst event in human history. i get all that. but me not wanting to eat meat in no way, shape, or form is a slight against the sacrifice my grandparents made. at all. i feel safe putting this on here, because the last time i was in florda, nana thought this was a computer:

it’s a microfiche. “in case anyone wants to see the world wide web”
i love my grandmother. i just don’t feel like having a philosophical argument about factory farms and animal rights with a woman who made the clocks for the nazi bombs. if this makes me a shitty vegetarian, i apologize.
it makes me a good grandson, and that to me is more important than being a good vegetarian.
see, it’s like this: i eat meat. i don’t have to remind my grandmother of the awfulness of the thing she went through. she doesn’t think i’m a self righteous twerp. and we get to enjoy each others’ company without fighting about something that i do for myself and no one else anyway.
family is wonderful.




